Where is my happiness derived from

In the few years the I've existed in I can surely say only one thing about myself, I become happier the more i exist. I've come to the conclusion that this is because I get smarter every day. Often when I'm not doing anything valuable I catch myself on thought that I'm wasting my time, that I'm just procrastinating everything, and the thoughts are accompanied by a deep painful feeling of emptiness. I don't think I possess enough vocabulary to define the feeling correctly but to try, it's like a needle that slowly injecting something into your heart. I can't imagine myself in a long period of time learning nothing, quite frankly it would make me go crazy. I think I'm here I'm this world to learn, and to learn I will. I will know everything that interests me because I can't find another reason why I exist, and if it doesn't bring me happiness nothing will.